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Of owls.

BREAKING NEWS!

New Company Policy To Boost Productivity Backfires

Mundanity Corp. is currently under fire for implementing a risqué ‘hump-day’ policy. WEST DEPTFORD, N.J. — In response to plummeting employee morale over the bizarre kidnapping of one of their own, Owlie McOwlerson, back in January, head honchos … [Read More]

New Tabloid To Spill The Beans On Other Tabloids

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — A new tabloid, The National Gossipers Enquirer, will soon be launching with the intent of exploiting the secret lives of existing tabloids and their staffs, according to a random press release. Promising to “give the scoop on … [Read More]

New Year Gimmick Goes Awry For Local Apple Store

CHERRY HILL, N.J. — A local Apple store here were forced to close early yesterday when Apple Inc.’s new advertising campaign, Apples to Apples, resulted in an event that racked up more than $600,000 in damages, according to company sources. The … [Read More]

Birds Involved in Human Kidnapping Suffer Fowl Play

Egrets had their captive stolen from them in a double-cross, the FBI said. HONK KONG — Owlie McOwlerson, who was kidnapped from a courtyard outside of where he worked in New Jersey and smuggled into Europe, earlier this week found himself … [Read More]

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Staff Quotes of the Week