Welcome One, Welcome All

Welcome to The McOwlerson Journal. What is The McOwlerson Journal? Really? Really? How do you not know? Honestly, who doesn’t know?

Oh, that’s right — everyone. We’re new. Silly rabbit.

Well, I suppose, since we’re new, I, as Editor-in-Chief, should explain a bit about what The McOwlerson Journal is.

Remember that time you were hiking through the woods and really had to take a dump? You know, when you shimmied off the trail to go pop a squat in the woods, but made the mistake of wiping your ass with poison oak? Well, that has nothing to do with The McOwlerson Journal — I just wanted to hear you admit it happened.

No, The McOwlerson Journal was created in the spirit of a certain gentleman I used to work with. Let’s call him…Owlie. This guy used to tell me everything I never wanted to know about birds. He also had a penchant for telling, as facts, things that were not, in fact, factual; true stories that were, in truth, untrue; and For Your Information tidbits that were, under the slightest scrutiny, For Your Misinformation. The eternal, die-hard conversationalist, he basked in being the authoritative voice in the room; he who was unequivocally unauthoritative on almost every subject.

Except birds.

Turkey vultures, pelicans, and owls, mainly.

Hence, our name — McOwlerson — and our logo (the spirit creature of wisdom itself), the owl (affectionately known as Owlie).

Therefore, with Owlie in mind, we at McOwlerson strive to witfully entertain hapless cyber-wanderers with sarcasm, satire, slapstick, and the occasional neologism. We, like Owlie, will tell you to do things you shouldn’t do, report news without journalistic integrity, and complain inconsolably to you about anything we can. However, unlike Owlie, we will do this on purpose and will rarely expect you to take us seriously. We lavish in the act of lying to you for your own (and our own) amusement, as any good storytellers would. No topic is off limits, no member of society safe. Not you, not anyone; not even Jesus.

At the heart of McOwlerson is creation. We eat it, breathe it, spit it out and lick it back up. Creativity through words — if we could synthesize it into a great medieval plague and start a global pandemic, we would gladly pelt every person in sight with fiendishly large rats infested with well-read fleas.

Dan Morgan, Founder and Editor-in-Chief

%d bloggers like this: